you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
