apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
