Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
