Is it normal to miss your booty call?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
