Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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