I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Drake has all the answers
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
