Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
oh god the rape fog is back!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
