Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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