so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
