Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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