I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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