My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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