Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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