as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
