Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
