how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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