today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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