after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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