In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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