yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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