Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
