I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
