I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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