oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he was CRYING into my vagina
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
