Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
