great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
