He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
