There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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