Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
