You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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