you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
