So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I want a musical about memes.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
