Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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