we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
