u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
