how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize