so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
