I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
