i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
