in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's shark week go big or go home
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
