i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
