im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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