fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
