They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
