dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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