He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
