she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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