The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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