I wish I could punch you in the face.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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