My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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