Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Randomize
