This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
