I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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