Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
