okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
