Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
