Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
