Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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