I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
