I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
