I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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