I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
