im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
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