addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
