Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
