You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Sacagawea was the original milf.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
