the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
