i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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