your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
