I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
