Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize