Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
