If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
