Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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