but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
