I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize